H.O.P.E. for Moms of Prodigals

A Prodigal Son’s Redemption

by David Fontanez

There is so much truth to the statement, “I wish I knew then, what I know now.” We all learn things at different speeds, but we often think back to our younger days and wonder how much further in life we could have come or how much trouble we could have avoided. Some of us learn easily, but people, like me, tend to learn the hard way. To be completely honest, learning the “hard way” often involves one of those moments of realizing “my parents were right” or “I should have listened to my parents.”

I was raised as a Christian boy. I was taught about the love of God and His will for my life. For a long time, I was actively involved in the church and served in different ministries. But like many teenage boys, I allowed myself to be influenced by the things of the world, and I fell away from God. At age 15 I became rebellious. Often times I was disrespectful, mostly to my mother, who made every effort to guide me back to the path for which she knew I was destined. But I felt I was too far lost.

As time passed, I went on ignoring the call of God on my life. I was focused on material things: fancy cars and late nights partying and hanging out with the wrong crowds. I remembered who God was and still believed in Him, but whenever I got myself into trouble, I blamed Him for my circumstances. I expected Him to fix all my problems when I was the one who had turned my back on Him. I hurt a lot of good people including my parents. I did a lot of things of which I am not proud. I was living in sin and found myself in bad relationships over and over again. I experimented with drugs. I became a father before I was ready, and my relationships always failed.

Then one day, the worst thing happened. I was arrested and taken to jail. I was completely broken in that moment. In my cell the negative thoughts consumed me. I had lost my job, my home, I couldn’t see my kids, but most of all I felt completely lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I even contemplated suicide as I sat there drowning in tears of regret and shame, wishing I had taken my mom’s advice and changed my ways.

God has a way of using our most broken circumstances to bring us to a defining moment. During my jail experience, I was reminded of who I was meant to be in Christ. I was reminded that I had two little girls who needed me. God even sent a good friend of my mother’s (Denise Ridley) to visit me in jail with a message: “I see you, I love you and I have plans for you.” It was written on the bottom of the paper she handed me that had several verses on it about God’s love.

From that moment I knew what I had to do. It was a long road back home. It was a difficult process of fixing years of mistakes and seeking deliverance from bondages and chains that I had gathered on the road of rebellion. But I had a lot of help and support from my amazing mother (Heidy Fontanez) and my pastors (Revs. Eliezer and Cindy Garcia) who welcomed me with open arms and guided me back to where I needed to be – closer to God than ever before.

Today I am happily married to a wonderful woman of God. We serve together in different ministries at a humble and growing church in Springfield called CCRN Massachusetts (Christian Community Restoration for the Nations). I have four beautiful daughters who light up my life and shower me with love. I have a great job that I enjoy, and God is in the center of everything we do. I’m genuinely happy and tremendously blessed. I owe it all to my Good Father in heaven who, despite my flaws, my imperfections, disloyalty, sin and shame welcomed me back to His Kingdom as if I had never left. Thank you, Jesus, my Savior and my Redeemer! Thank you to my mom for never giving up on me. Thank you to my pastors for investing their time and pouring their wisdom and knowledge into my life. “I once was lost, but now I’m found. I was blind, but now I see.” (Luke 15:24) It’s amazing what God can do when He comes into a young man’s life and says, “I’m not done with you yet.”

If you are a prodigal or struggling in your walk, do not give up hope. Trust in the Lord, trust in His plan, and may His will be done in His perfect timing in your life. I leave you with this verse: “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

David Fontanez lives in Springfield and is married. He and his wife have four beautiful daughters. They are both members of the church they attend and are involved in ministry. As a young boy David was involved in Junior Bible Quiz, which is a ministry of memorizing scripture for students. Those verses would rise up within him from time to time to remind him of God’s love. A verse that helped him through his journey was out of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding, in all you ways submit to him and he will make your path straight.” David loves working on cars and spending time with his family.

David’s mother Heidy Fontanez assists in administering a closed Facebook group for Moms of Adult Prodigals, a ministry of Women of the Word. To learn more about H.O.P.E. for Moms of Prodigals click here.

Peace in the Storm

by Heidy Fontanez

Most of us have experienced times when thoughts of defeat and hopelessness attack our minds. Fears well up and anxiety takes over when we experience the loss of a dream or the loss of a relationship or the heartbreak of a child walking away from the Lord. The voices say that our sons and daughters are lost and that it is hopeless to pray. Only God knows when our children will return to Him, but we must be convinced that God is working. We must believe; therefore, we pray and wait, but in the meantime we must fight against the thoughts that the enemy and even our own flesh try to throw at us.

God’s Word says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). Our thoughts can take us on a ride….but we can take the wheel and hit the brakes. The way to do this is to apply the knowledge of God to the argument; this brings our thoughts into obedience. What He says is what is truth.

What does God’s Word say about the argument? The enemy and the flesh say, “It’s impossible.” His Word states, “ALL things are possible” (Matt. 19:26). The flesh and enemy say, “It’s hopeless” but His Word says, “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord” (Psalm 31:24). They say you are too weak to endure…you can’t do this anymore… His Word states, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 9:10).

A while ago I had to fight the battle. In the middle of doing everyday life, I got THAT phone call. You know the one that throws you into a frenzy. My son was in jail. WHAT? My world turned upside down, and I began to look for answers. I even thought it might have been a mistake! My heart began pounding, I thought I would faint any minute, my thoughts were hard to manage and I couldn’t understand the words I was hearing…yes, that’s the call a parent never wants to receive.

Well, after my initial panic, the Lord began to remind me of the Bible story about Jesus sleeping in the boat in the midst of a storm. Just days before I was sharing that same story with my son, not realizing that the Lord was already speaking to us before the storm even arrived. I came to a new understanding. As I sought the Lord, I felt the Him say to me, “Even before I lay down in the boat, I saw the storm coming. I already knew the storm was on the horizon, and I already had the answer. Just as I was with them in the boat, I am with you in your storm.”

This word, and many others that the Holy Spirit gave me, helped me to ride the wave during this period in my life. Was it easy? NO! But I decided to praise the Lord through it. I decided to align myself with His Word, with who He is, and who I was to Him.

So…you are probably wondering what happened to my son. Well, he came to the Lord through this tragic time. PRAISE THE LORD! Almost two years later and many trips to the courthouse, we saw the hand of God move in great ways. It was two years of believing Him over and over and over again. This is just one incident in my son’s life that ultimately caused him to come to the Lord. There were many other broken times that we endured with our son, but this was the one that caused Him to begin his journey home to the Father. My son is now married, and he and his wife both serve in their church. God is doing amazing things in both their lives.

I want to leave you with one more scripture on which to meditate: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Phil. 4:5-7

Heidy Fontanez helps administrate H.O.P.E. for Moms of Prodigals, a closed Facebook group, and an outreach ministry of Women of the Word.

During the loss of a 12 year old daughter she learned of the power of applying God’s Word and relying on His grace. She serves in various ministries in her church and is the executive secretary to the Senior Pastor of Bethany Assembly of God in Agawam, MA. She speaks at women’s events, both in English and in Spanish. She has traveled on missions to Costa Rica, Panama and Honduras. She and her husband Ramon, have two adult sons and three grandchildren. Her testimony is, “God has brought me a mighty long way and He is not done with me yet”.

by Denise Ridley

The cell phone rang at 2:00 AM, waking me from a sound sleep. A call at that hour is never good news and this one didn’t disappoint. It was about my son and the caller gave me news that rocked my world and placed me on the prodigal road along with a multitude of other moms. How did we get here? How is it that we gave our children the greatest treasure possible, how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the compass of His Word for all of life’s journey and they have turned their backs and thrown it away?

I received Jesus at the age of 22. I was not raised in a Christ-following home but my mom gave me what she could. There was a God and He should be honored on Sundays. I have grown up with a religious perspective of God, church on Sunday and the 10 commandments but didn’t learn that a personal relationship with Jesus was possible until graduate school. I was thankful that I knew the Savior prior to meeting my husband and starting a family. I was eager to base my marriage on Biblical principles and raise our family according to the ways of the Lord. We were first generation believers and had no modeling in our own childhood families. After our two sons were born, there were nightly prayers, Sunday school, Christian school and camp. Music and television were closely monitored. The family budget was tight and we watched the Lord provide in miraculous ways. I loved hearing my son’s questions and observations and enjoyed their humor about life. Both of our sons were developing a personal faith in Jesus of their own! As we sailed through childhood and then the teen years, I privately congratulated myself that we avoided the usual heartbreaks of other families. We were raising our kids the right way!

When other parents hit rough patches in child rearing I thought….”those parents are getting the fruit of their labors”. What do you expect if your family is worshipping soccer on Sunday instead of the Savior”? I was so judgmental! Many years later, I learned that the issue is not so black and white. Godly parents can have rebellious adult children who don’t honor the Lord and His commands. Look at God, the perfect parent. He had a broken heart over Adam and Eve and Judas to name a few.

God was and continues to humble me. After both sons graduated from Bible College and worked in the youth ministry, I thought I was home free. They are grown and walking with the Lord. Now, I will enjoy them as young adults and await marriage and grandchildren. Was I in for a shock! The enemy set his trap and little by little, my sons began to follow worldly pleasures.

So after the 2:00am phone call, there have been a series of events that have caused a long painful road of broken dreams and unanswered prayers. At times the sense of failure, shame and brokenness has been more that my mother’s heart can bear. Although my husband was heart-broken, I noticed that he did not experience the prodigal journey the same way I did. For moms it’s a deeply personal sense of shame, brokenness and failure. The mother-child bond, given by the Lord to protect and nurture a little one to adulthood can be overwhelmingly painful when living with a prodigal. Many times I would meet other moms in church or out shopping and face the inevitable question, “how are the kids”? and I would raise my mask and respond, “oh, they are doing just great”. I hated it! How did we get to this place? Where did I go wrong? Where are you God and why aren’t you answering my prayers?

As a Christian leader, I have been aware that there are many hurting moms whose children are not following the Lord. Now I had joined the sisterhood in the shame, grief and isolation, the overwhelming sense of failure. H.O.P.E for Moms of Prodigals was born.

I realized that the Body of Christ provides connection and support for moms of toddlers and teens. But when the child grows to adulthood, a mom is on her own. If that adult child makes poor choices and turns her back on the ways of the Lord, the journey can be lonely and devastating.

H.O.P.E. is the expectation that God is at work in secret places. The evidence of His hand often appears suddenly in an atmosphere of faith, trust and belief. There is so much of this journey that is out of our control, while we wait with hopeful expectancy. But there ARE things we can do. There ARE strategies for prayer. There ARE mindsets that will ease the pain and we share the journey with other sisters.

H is for humility. We have spent a lifetime loving, nurturing, comforting and praying for our child. When our child hits the rough patches in life, we attempted to smooth it over, to fix it. But we can’t fix this. Our adult child must walk through this one on his or her own. And so in humility, we release our child to the ONE who has all power, all knowledge and loves our child more than we ever will. In humility, we admit we don’t have the answers and cling to HIS promises. His ways are greater than our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

O is for obedience. We cling to the Lord’s Word and His presence. We listen for the leading of the Holy Spirit. We ask the Lord to show us what needs to be change in our own hearts. We confess sin to the Lord and to our adult child as the Holy Spirit leads. Whatever He says to do, we do it. We keep the love line open with our child, sending texts and cards, assuring him of our love. We keep our commitments. We serve the church and build His Kingdom. We trust God and do good, just as Jesus did, led by His Holy Spirit. We fight against the temptation to isolate, to complain about where is God in this situation, to have an anger that slides into bitterness. We are “no matter what” sisters and we are determined to trust God and be obedient in all things. No matter what the outcome, let the Lord find us obedient to His ways and will! If you love me, keep my commands. (John 14:15)

P is for praise and prayer. We are aware that our words have power. And as the enemy desires that the prodigal journey would draw us away from God, the Lord bids us to draw close. He stirs us to change our perspective and adjust our focus. Our focus must come off our adult child and on to the Lord.

Set your mind on things above, not on things of earth ~Colossians 3:2. Our focus must remain fixed on our precious Savior who is mighty and loves greatly and works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose ~Romans 8:28.
We are to praise Him no matter what and lift up our adult child in continual prayer ~1 Thessalonians 5:17. Pray with THANKSGIVING. Pray without ceasing ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
Let’s encourage our sisters on those days when the pain is great, the discouragement is overwhelming, the future looks hopeless…do not weary in well doing for in due season you will reap if you faint not~Galatians 6:9.

I am reminded of the words of one mom who gave me this Word from the Lord. As she was crying out on behalf of her child, the Lord spoke to her heart…”release your child to me, stop praying and start thanking me for what I’m doing in secret places”. I walked away, pondering that word. Stop praying? Really? Then, I realized that to “thank the Lord for what he was doing in secret places” was a position of FAITH. Prayer is so much more powerful when faith is mixed with the prayer. Thanksgiving primes the pump of faith. And so we practice praising in the storm and praying continually with an attitude of faith.

E is for expectation. What would become of me if I had not expected the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living~Psalm 27:13. Any day! Suddenly, our breakthrough will come. And the Lord will find us in faith, believing, trusting, expecting. Hallelujah!

Are you a mom with a prodigal? Do you know a mom who is walking the prodigal road? While we can’t control their choices, we can control our response to their choices! Join us as we respond with H.O.P.E., encouraging one another, persevering and awaiting the homecoming! May the God of hope fill you with all hope and peace as your trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit~Romans 15:13.

Click here to join the closed H.O.P.E. for Moms of Prodigals Facebook group.

Denise Ridley is the founder of Waters Edge Ministries. She is a speaker for various ministries, including Women of the Word and hosts a Christian radio program that airs in VT and MA. Her professional career includes being an Educational Therapist, Admissions Coordinator, Director of Guidance and Vocational Rehabilational Counselor. She holds an MA in Deaf Education and a M.Ed in Rehabilitation Counseling. Denise is married, with 2 grown sons and 4 grandchildren.

Walking with Jesus!

by Christine Disibio

I am a daughter of the Most High God, the Alpha and Omega, the Author of all life, the One who is, who was and who is to come.

I am a daughter of the great I AM, the Almighty KING!! I wish you could hear me say this, hear me say His names without pride, but with such joy, expectancy, and love. I am in LOVE with my God, my Jesus, my Savior, my King, but I wasn’t always this way. I went through years of self– years of trying to satisfy myself. I spent years thinking I was my own god, believing I knew best and I had control. The twisted level of my thinking is almost unimaginable to me, yet when I ponder it…I remember.

The purpose of this quick testimony is not to inform you of the gravity of my sin, but to show you how unimaginably great a redeemer we serve. JESUS…that is the name above all names. JESUS… that is the man who saves! He came to share Good News, to set free captives, to deliver us from bondage, and to set blind eyes to see. He bore our sin, and he bore our sickness. JESUS came to deliver us and to restore our broken hearts. That’s just what He did for me.

I am a product of:

Prayers of a broken-hearted mother and father,
Prayers of a grandmother insistent on standing in the gap for my life,
Prayers of so many friends and family members crying out to God on my behalf.

I am a product of a God who hears, a God who answers, and a God who, even without those prayers, NEVER, EVER, EVER gave up on me!

I cannot express enough the joy I now have in Christ. The healing power of the blood of Jesus Christ is beyond my wildest expectation. How do we get our loved ones who have walked away to experience that power? Sometimes the people around us have to be just broken enough, just hurt enough, just in enough mess that they cry out, “OH LORD HELP ME!” And when they do, He is there. When they set their minds upon Him and taste and see that He is good, He will draw them unto Himself and give them staying power; He will start to appear better than this world, and He will become their desire.

I know each one of you is praying for someone, or more than one, near and dear to you. DON’T GIVE UP! NEVER GIVE UP! In Psalm 107 the Bible commands “ Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever.” Has the Lord redeemed you? Then pray and speak out! Tell others that He has redeemed you from your enemies. The LORD has redeemed me and I will speak out to tell of the great, great things He has done for me. I will proclaim from every mountain top that God has saved me and restored me. Who else is like him? Taste and see for the Lord is good and so worthy to be praised. He reigns above all and through all. He alone has the victory, and He will succeed in the lives of those for whom you are praying.

Standing in the gap is exactly that. When you intercede, you place yourself in the space between what is now, and what will be when heaven has its way. You place yourself there, as a sacrifice, as a line in the sand saying you will not be moved until you see heaven move on behalf of your loved one. This is a Jesus-like action. The Bible says Jesus himself makes intercession on our behalf. He ever lives to intercede on our behalf. PRAISE GOD! Jesus himself is pleading before the Father the same case for your loved one!

Jesus taught us to pray “ Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” So stand in the gap, make intercession on behalf of those prodigals. Pray that they would experience the love of the Father and the restorative healing power of Jesus. Pray that they will walk in the way in which they were raised. Pray that they would come to the understanding and knowledge of God. Pray that the power of the Holy Spirit would come and breathe on them in their lives. Even if they reside in the pit of hell-on-earth, the Holy Spirit goes there. He is there… Call out to their dry bones and speak: “COME ALIVE!” May the Spirit of the living, breathing God move on their behalves and change the very course of their lives in Jesus name!

I want to pray for you and with you: O Father, gracious loving Father, I ask that you would refresh every woman reading these words, every intercessor pleading on behalf of a loved one. Lord, increase their measure of faith that they may know they have what they are requesting. Give them staying power, strength and grace. Place a new fire in each woman. May praise rise up out of their bellies, for you will be praised. With angels and saints we will sing worthy, worthy, worthy are you LORD!

Father, refresh them in your Holy Spirit and give them new utterances on behalf of their loved ones. Father, bend down and hear our prayers, oh Lord. Help us we cry. The prayers of wounded intercessors hold great power in heaven. Hear their cries and answer us quickly God! We want revival, revival of your sleeping people, revival in your church, in the ones present and the ones running.

Oh Lord, call them in from every corner of the earth. In their distress may they call out to you for help, O Lord. We know You will come and rescue them from their distress; You will heal them, and restore everything the enemy has stolen. Lord, turn deserts into pools of water and dry lands into springs of water in our lives and the lives of every prodigal child. WAKE UP SLEEPERS, COME ALIVE DRY BONES! Cry out for your redeemer is near. Cry out to JESUS and be restored, be fulfilled, be loved!

Lord, we know you hear our prayers and cries for mercy. We know You are good and faithful and will answer our every request. We thank You and we bless You! We ask all this because of the blood of Jesus shed for our sins at Calvary, and we ask it in the name of Jesus. Amen.

In closing, I want to share a secret; there’s a bonus for you…there is a reward beyond even the great joy of seeing these things come to pass while still in the land of the living. There is reward in heaven and great blessing that comes today as we say these prayers. These prayers help us change more and more into the image of Jesus. They renew our minds and refresh our souls. They are hard to pray and exhausting at times, but God…you see, He uses EVERYTHING for our good, for the good of those that love him…even our broken hearts!

Be blessed, and be loved!

Christine Disibio speaks at Women of the Word. She is a millennial with a heart to reach them and the iGeneration with the Gospel. In the everydaycircumstances of life, the light of Jesus shines into darkness. Her life is rooted in applying biblical principles and prayer. Christine and her husband are entrepreneurs who see their business as an avenue to witness of God’s redemptive purposes to their employees and customers. They have two young children and live in New England.

Women of the Word has a closed Facebook group called H.O.P.E. for Moms of Prodigals. Please visit it by clicking here.